Catherine Friend
Catherine Friend

Squirrel Lunchable (TM)

Squirrel Lunchable ™

We didn’t have oak trees on our farm, so when we moved to Red Wing we were unprepared for the learning experience that comes from living under or near five massive, aged, oak trees. It turns out that 1) Squirrels live in oak trees, and 2) Squirrels fall out of oak trees all the time.

The first time we saw this happen, Melissa heard a great crack and bang as a branch broke off, plummeted to our deck and bounced down the deck stairs. A squirrel, stunned to have ridden the branch all the way down, ended up sprawled out at the base of the stairs. Melissa rushed toward it, thinking it might be injured, but when the squirrel saw Scary Human approaching, it zipped past her and ran back up the tree that had just tried to kill it.

Another day I was sitting in our sunroom, staring out the window at nothing, as writers often do, when from 25 ft above, a squirrel fell out of the tree and landed in the street right outside my window. “What?” I leapt to my feet. Did that squirrel just bounce? How had it survived such a fall? It sat there for a minute, contemplating its brush with death, then ran back up the tree that had just tried to kill it.

One day I was coming home from a walk with our 100-pound Lucy and we stopped to admire the neighbor’s rock garden at the base of an oak tree. Two seconds later, a squirrel fell from the tree and landed right in front of us. What are the chances? We stared at each other until the squirrel realized it was the perfect Lunchable ™ for a 100-pound dog about the same time that Lucy realized a perfect Lunchable ™ had just landed three feet from her jaws. There was much lunging and scrambling, but the lucky squirrel managed to run back up the tree that had just tried to kill it.

Living in the city, I know I should worry about crime and other dangers, but instead I worry that one day a squirrel will land on my head. It could happen.

4 Responses

  1. Ok, so we live in the city under about 5 Redwood Trees. No squirrels in them, but our building is stucco and they love to climb our walls. I’ll be sitting reading and all of the sudden I hear these little feet running across the outside wall. They scale the two stories with no problems. It took me awhile to figure out what the noise was. I had to see them running across the building while on a walk before i figured it out.

    Maybe you should wear a hard hat on your walk’s?

    1. Now there’s an idea. And I wonder if home insurance covers injuries sustained from falling squirrels… 🙂

  2. I laugh so hard I cry. And not because Elvis died. But, I understand. I am halfway through “sheepish” and I am telling everyone about it. Thank you for sharing yourself and your escapades with us. I will be looking for all your books

    1. Ha! Glad to make you laugh..sorry to make you cry. Yes, Elvis…still hurts. Loved the new movie that came out…last year? Year before? So good…. Thanks for writing!

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The Big Pivot

About Me

After twenty-five years on the farm, I’m adjusting to the adventures of city life. Part of that adjustment is figuring out what I want to write about now, since sheep are no longer part of my daily life. I’m challenging myself creatively by painting with pastels and playing the ukelele as I seek my new writing path.


Occasional Newsletter

Catherine Friend is a fiscal year 2021 recipient of a Creative Support for Individuals grant from the Minnesota State Arts Board. This activity is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant from the Minnesota State Arts Board, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund.