Catherine Friend
Catherine Friend

Former Farmer Flashes Neighborhood

lampWe are not used to having neighbors who can actually see us. For 25 years the only living creatures who passed by our windows were deer, raccoons, birds, and sheep.

But we now live on a corner of an older, busy neighborhood. Our second story bedroom has, on either side of the bed, a window, a nightstand, and a lamp (one of those fun ones that turns on when you touch any part of it.)

I was downstairs the evening of the ‘flash,’ so I’ve had to recreate the scene based on Melissa’s horrified retelling.

She had just finished showering when she heard a noise outside. We are so unused to sounds other than sheep bleating that we find ourselves drawn to investigate all city noises. So Melissa turned off the bedroom lights and opened the shade to peek out. She couldn’t see the source of the noise so she leaned closer to the window.

I’m sure you can guess where this is going. Yup, her tummy turned on the lamp, thus revealing a naked former farmer pressed up against the well-lit window.

Downstairs I heard a curse, some bangs, more cursing, then a tremendous crash, more cursing, then silence.

It turns out that once the light came on, my naked Melissa leapt back and frantically slapped at the lamp with both hands, one hand turning the lamp off, the other turning it back on, which brought on more cursing and slapping until the poor lamp finally dove onto the floor to escape.

Not only did Melissa flash the neighborhood, but the on-off strobe light effect she created probably upped the event’s production value to that of a ‘girlie’ floor show.

City life has proven to be more … revealing than we’d expected.

15 Responses

  1. Thanks for my good laugh of the day! At dusk, from now on, if you notice cars quietly rolling to a stop on either street converging at the corner of your lot, you’ll know word is out and they’re arriving for the anticipated girlie show. ;o) Melissa might want to think of some sort of flashy costume with which to titillate (oh, bad choice of words) the onlookers.

    So glad to have found you again and to read of your new adventures!

  2. Oh my! I am laughing so hard! Thank you! i just shared with Hubby, and my undemonstrative other half was grinning and chuckleing! (spell check does not like that…tough!) Found you on Mama Pea’s blog. We can sure relate to the ‘investigating the sounds’ comment, and the lack of neighbours who can actually see us!

  3. I’m not use to SO MANY windows. I closed all four of the living room shades and set up all my PORT supplies to access my port. I take my shirt off and pull my sports bra down under my breast and then access the port. I get all finished only to look up and through to the dinning room that has a window wide open right in line of sight

    Our new house is on the back side of our church parking lot and our pastor lets two homeless men stay there. One in his van in the parking lot and another man he discovered was using the covered side steps to the church. I told my best friend about the ordeal and as only a best friend can do she cracked up and suggested I leave a tip jar out for the guys next time

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The Big Pivot

About Me

After twenty-five years on the farm, I’m adjusting to the adventures of city life. Part of that adjustment is figuring out what I want to write about now, since sheep are no longer part of my daily life. I’m challenging myself creatively by painting with pastels and playing the ukelele as I seek my new writing path.


Occasional Newsletter

Catherine Friend is a fiscal year 2021 recipient of a Creative Support for Individuals grant from the Minnesota State Arts Board. This activity is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant from the Minnesota State Arts Board, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund.