Catherine Friend

Squirrel Lunchable (TM)

Catherine Friend — Tue, 25 Jul 2023 12:08:20 +0000

Squirrel Lunchable

We didn’t have oak trees on our farm, so when we moved to Red Wing we were unprepared for the learning experience that comes from living under or near five massive, aged, oak trees. It turns out that 1) Squirrels live in oak trees, and 2) Squirrels fall out of oak trees all the time.

The first time we saw this happen, Melissa heard a great crack and bang as a branch broke off, plummeted to our deck and bounced down the deck stairs. A squirrel, stunned to have ridden the branch all the way down, ended up sprawled out at the base of the stairs. Melissa rushed toward it, thinking it might be injured, but when the squirrel saw Scary Human approaching, it zipped past her and ran back up the tree that had just tried to kill it.

Another day I was sitting in our sunroom, staring out the window at nothing, as writers often do, when from 25 ft above, a squirrel fell out of the tree and landed in the street right outside my window. “What?” I leapt to my feet. Did that squirrel just bounce? How had it survived such a fall? It sat there for a minute, contemplating its brush with death, then ran back up the tree that had just tried to kill it.

One day I was coming home from a walk with our 100-pound Lucy and we stopped to admire the neighbor’s rock garden at the base of an oak tree. Two seconds later, a squirrel fell from the tree and landed right in front of us. What are the chances? We stared at each other until the squirrel realized it was the perfect Lunchable for a 100-pound dog about the same time that Lucy realized a perfect Lunchable had just landed three feet from her jaws. There was much lunging and scrambling, but the lucky squirrel managed to run back up the tree that had just tried to kill it.

Living in the city, I know I should worry about crime and other dangers, but instead I worry that one day a squirrel will land on my head. It could happen.

My Wife: The Neighborhood Hero

Catherine Friend — Tue, 11 Jul 2023 12:02:13 +0000

I used to be proud of my powers of observation on the farm. “What’s that dark spot in the trees?” I figured out it was a deer bedded down in the snow. “What’s making the tall grass move?” It was three turkey hens and ten of their babies.

Living in the city I thought my powers of observation were no longer useful, but I was wrong. I observe, then send out The Melissa to solve the problem. I tell myself I got into the habit of letting Melissa deal with things because I’ve spent my time in this city recovering from two knee surgeries, gall bladder surgery, and a bike accident, but that’s not entirely true. The pandemic made me even more of an introvert, and Melissa loves loves loves to be of service.

One snowy day I looked out the window and saw someone lying in middle of the side street. That didn’t look right (such powers of observation, heh?) I found Melissa in the kitchen. “I think someone’s fallen in the street.” Out she rushed without coat or boots to help the neighbor who’d been running after a snowblowing neighbor to ask him to clean their driveway. Melissa helped her back to her house, then tracked down the neighbor with the snowblower to deliver the request.

We live in a neighborhood filled with dogs. Many days I’ll see either an unfamiliar dog or a neighbor’s dog running down the sidewalk. “Melissa! Loose dog.” Out she flies to chat up the dog and try to get it home. We would be sick if either of our dogs got loose and lost.

The other night while getting ready for bed I saw the neighbors with the German Shepherd stopped at a street drain, peering down into it with a flashlight. I called down the stairs: “Melissa, didn’t you once find a raccoon in the drain?” Out she dashed to explain to the German Shepherd neighbors that the raccoons get themselves in and out of the drains all the time. Then they stood around in the warm July night talking about plants and hummingbirds and raccoons.

The next evening at dusk, I looked out and observed five raccoons waddling away from the street drain, up toward the woods. “Melissa! Raccoons.” We watched the five, laughing at their ungainly walk, then two raccoons crawled out of the drain and followed, shoving against each other like brothers unwilling to share the sidewalk. Finally a last raccoon emerged from the drain and hurried to catch up with the others.

I think I’m pretty clever. I get to be observant and never leave the house, while Melissa gets to play the Hero. Maybe that’s why our relationship has worked for 39 years.

Let’s abduct some ducks!

Catherine Friend — Tue, 27 Jun 2023 13:24:00 +0000

I like to play games.

Not the kind where you toy with people’s emotions and mess them up, but board games.

We love Qwirkle, a great game that’s easy to learn and can be played outside on the deck because the pieces are wood and won’t blow away in the wind.

We also play Othello, a game for two. It’s a game of strategy that can change in an instant because your opponent can suddenly mess up your next move. Our language tends to deteriorate when we play Othello.

But my latest favorite is one I stumbled across online and bought for Melissa’s birthday. It’s called Abducktion. Yes, there are ducks involved. Players are aliens who abduct cute little ducks and stash them in their spaceship. Sounds goofy but it’s oddly fun and challenging. We played with our friend Jaycee and now she’s obsessed. She bought her own copy, and once she teaches it to her grandkids, that family will likely buy its own. This game might spread faster than a virus!

Life is stressful. Maybe we’d all do better if we’d unwind once a week by abducting cute little ducks and stashing them in our spaceship.

How is Your Election Official Doing?

Catherine Friend — Tue, 20 Jun 2023 11:26:31 +0000

Here’s an anonymous message received by Colorado’s Secretary of State after a recent election: “Do you feel safe? You shouldn’t.”

And here’s what the top election official in Yavapai County, AZ had to say: “I’m a Republican recorder in a Republican county where the candidate that they wanted to win won by 2-to-1, and I’m still getting grief, and so is my staff.” The recorder, Leslie Hoffman, finally had enough and quit.

She isn’t the only one. One in four election officials report being harassed or threatened. As a result, election officials are quitting or retiring at unheard-of rates. It will take years to replace all the election knowledge that is walking out the door. This harassment by the voters who are determined to prove that elections aren’t run correctly could lead to elections not being run correctly.

How is your election official doing? Do you know who runs your elections? There are about 10,000 of these people, and one of them is in your city, or your county. An official at the state level might provide support, but elections are run by local officials. Who are those people? Thanks to a recent survey by the Election and Voting Information Center (EVIC), we know that 82% of the election officials are women. 89% are white. 76% are older than 50. Republicans make up 42%, Democrats and Independents the rest. 60% are elected by the public, 40% are appointed.

For years these people have been fairly invisible, quietly working hard to improve voter access and election security. They find polling places, keep the machines running, and hire the 190,000 people needed to work on Election Day. They are proud of the work they do for their communities. They deserve, at the very least, to be allowed to do their jobs without fearing for their safety.

(Sources: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/facing-harassment-and-death-threats-some-election-workers-weigh-whether-to-stay

EVIC information from webinar “Buffeted by Many Storms: The Local Election Official Experience from 2018-2022, June 7, 2022.”)

Swimming with the Children of King Henry VIII

Catherine Friend — Tue, 06 Jun 2023 11:37:35 +0000

Still swimming laps at the pool, but now I’m thinking about the children of King Henry VIII. In last week’s post Henry died, leaving behind three legitimate Tudor children: Edward, 9, Elizabeth, 14, and Mary in her early 30s.

Edward

Lap One: Edward

As the only son, Edward became king, but because of his age, his uncles basically ran the show. Sadly, he wasn’t that strong, and died when he was only 15. Short story—doesn’t get me all the way through my lap, so I must start on the week’s grocery list.

Painting by Delarouche of Lady Jane’s beheading

Lap Two: Lady Jane Grey

Edward is dead. What now? Most of you have cousins, which means you are descended from the same grandfather or great-grandfather. Henry’s cousins thought, “Why is Henry any more deserving of being king than one of us?” Some of the cousins moved quickly upon Edward’s death, and proclaimed teenaged Lady Jane Grey as Queen. This coup lasted only the nine days it took Mary’s people to get their act together, storm the castle and throw Lady Jane Grey into the Tower of London. Mary became queen, and to eliminate the possibility of the cousins trying to unseat her again, she had Lady Jane beheaded. Like father, like daughter.

Mary Tudor

Lap 3: Mary

Mary was also a little worried about her sister Elizabeth making a play for the crown, so she locked her up in the Tower of London for a year or two until Elizabeth managed to convince her she had no interest in unseating her.

Remember that Mary was raised Catholic, the religion of her mother, so when Henry broke with the Catholic Church in order to divorce her mother, she was furious. She hated Protestants of any sort, and quickly proclaimed England to be once again Catholic. She burned a lot of Protestants at the stake, and killed so many people that she became known as “Bloody Mary.” Yup—The drink made of vodka, tomato juice and spices, with a stalk of celery in it, is named after her.

Mary’s advisors convinced King Phillip of France to marry her, which he did, but it was a choice he quickly came to regret. Eventually Mary declared herself with child. Nine months later the country held its breath. No birth. Another month. No birth. Another month. No birth. Mary wasn’t pregnant. Gotta wonder what that was all about.

Long story, short, Mary wasn’t physically well, and maybe even a little off in the head. She died after five years as Queen.

Queen Elizabeth I

Lap 4: Elizabeth I

The only legitimate child of Henry’s left? Elizabeth. Henry had beheaded her mother Anne Boleyn when Elizabeth was three. She was now 25, and became England’s longest-serving queen (until Queen Elizabeth II broke that record a few years ago.) Elizabeth realized that if she married, her husband would become King and run the show. She didn’t think that was a good plan, so basically strung suitors along for years until everyone finally realized she had no intention of marrying. She was called the Virgin Queen, but may not have been given her love for her horse master, Robert Dudley. Scandalous!

When she died in 1603, there were no more Tudors to put on the throne, so it went to a cousin, James I. The reign of the Tudors came to an end.

But I still have more laps to swim, so will go back to the beginning and think about Edward again!

Swimming with the Six Wives of King Henry VIII

Catherine Friend — Tue, 30 May 2023 11:03:55 +0000

I love swimming laps, but it’s a little monotonous. I as yet don’t have a way to play music while I swim (working on it), so instead I think about the six wives of King Henry VIII, one per lap. Here’s a quick preview of their 6 fates: Divorced, Beheaded, Died, Divorced, Beheaded, Survived.

Lap 1: Katherine of Aragon

During the first lap I think about Katherine of Aragon, daughter of Spain’s Ferdinand and Isabelle. She was initially married to Henry’s older brother who died. Since marrying your brother’s widow was considered the polite thing to do, that’s what Henry did.

Katherine had several miscarriages, and two sons who only lived a few months. The only child to survive was their daughter Mary. (We’ll return to her in the next post—-you’ll want to mix up a Bloody Mary for that one.)

Now middle-aged, Henry began to fuss about having a son just as Anne Boleyn began to flirt with him. She had a sparkle in her eye and ambition in her heart. She refused to let him go past second base however, until he ‘put a ring on it.’

But he was still married to Katherine! He asked the pope to annul the marriage, saying he should never have married his brother’s wife. Pope said “No,” so the king, crazy for Anne, declared England was no longer Catholic. He started the Protestant Church of England and declared himself head. He quickly divorced Katherine, which upset all of England, and, not surprisingly, Katherine herself.

Lap Two: Anne Boleyn

Second lap? That feisty Anne Boleyn quickly married Henry and allowed him to go all the way. The next year she gave birth to Elizabeth, and then suffered a miscarriage the following year. Unfortunately, her ambition pissed off lots of Henry’s advisors and they hated her. So they began whispering stories in Henry’s ear that she was cheating on him. They ‘proved’ this by grabbing some men and putting them on the rack, thus getting lots of ‘confessions.’ Anne was too smart to cheat, so I doubt she did, but Henry had her arrested for treason, and beheaded.

Lap 3: Jane Seymour

Third wife was Jane Seymour, and Henry liked her. She gave birth to Edward (a son who survived!) but sadly, some idiot ‘doctor’ likely infected her during the birth and she died 10 days later.

Lap 4: Anne of Cleeves

Henry’s advisors thought it was time to strengthen their foreign alliances, so suggested Anne of Cleeves, from Düsseldorf. He wanted to know what she looked like, so sent the court painter to bring back an image. Henry decided she looked okay, so agreed to the marriage. Turns out he didn’t like her, and claimed to be unable to actually consummate the marriage. A few months later his advisors approached Anne and offered her a nice castle in the country in exchange for a divorce. She agreed, and off she went to live a lovely life without any fear of being beheaded.

Lap 5: Katherine Howard

By now, Henry was fifty and quite overweight, with an oozing ulcer on his leg that never healed, making intimacy a bit…ah…unpleasant. Katherine did her queenly duty, but was only 17, so quickly found a court cutie to hook up with. Unlike Anne Boleyn, Katherine was not smart enough to control herself, and got caught. Idiot. What did she expect would happen? Off with her head.

Lap 6: Katherine Parr

Katherine Parr was about to wed her love, Thomas Seymour, when she got word that the King required her to be his queen. So she married Henry, and was a supportive and helpful spouse. She was his oldest wife at 31, so was more stable than the younger wives. When Henry was off fighting a war in France, she ran the country. She brought Henry’s three children, Mary, Elizabeth, and Edward to live with them as a family—they’d all grown up living in their own castle. She nursed him through his illnesses, including his last one. When he died, she dashed back home and married Thomas Seymour.

After six laps, I start over again with Katherine of Aragon.

So weird.

Finally! A Civics Website for Adults

Catherine Friend — Tue, 23 May 2023 11:51:51 +0000

I’ve been quite frustrated with the online materials that teach civics because all of them are geared toward K-12 students, not adults. I just found a new website that calls itself ‘multigenerational,’ which means it’s hoping to attract adults wanting to address their Civics ‘knowledge gap.’

Is the website perfect? No, but at least it’s not full of cute games and cartoons for kids. Some of the topics covered are: the Historical Foundations of the U.S., the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, How Elections Work, the Electoral College, State Governments, and the History of Political Parties.

Next time you have a minute to kill waiting in line, check it out. Here’s a 3 minute video about Civics for Life:

Here’s the link to the website: https://civicsforlife.org/

Let me know what you think. Even better, let the website know what you think. Also, there’s a form for you to request more information about the topics you’re interested in.

More American Obligations…

Catherine Friend — Tue, 16 May 2023 12:06:28 +0000

Last week I shared five of Richard Haass’ points in The Bill of Obligations: The Ten Habits of Good Citizens. He makes this point:

American democracy has come to focus almost exclusively on perceived rights and is breaking down as a result. The correct response is not to ignore rights or to stop trying to make a more perfect Union; to the contrary, this is unfinished work that demands attention.

Haass suggests that along with rights we must also recognize and fulfill certain obligations that come with being a citizen in this country. Here are his final five obligations:

6) Value norms. Norms are unwritten traditions, rules, customs, conventions, codes of conduct and practices. One example: accepting election results. Another: Elected officials need to accept the independent role of the media. When Trump proclaimed the media as “the enemy of the people,” that violated an important norm.

We like to think of ourselves as a nation of laws, but the truth is that democracy requires more than laws if it is to function. Only the observation of norms can do this, and it will happen only if citizens insist on it.

7) Promote the Common Good. Haass says we have a stake in the well-being of our society, which means we have a stake in the well-being of our fellow citizens. (For more on common goods, see Robert Reich’s The Common Good.) So..do we care all about everyone, or just the white citizens? Do we care about everyone, or just the ones with jobs? Do we care about everyone, or just those who stick to what’s considered ‘mainstream’?

The late Senator Paul Wellstone: “We all do better when we all do better.”

8) Respect Government Service. Opposition to ‘big’ government has morphed into outright hostility toward government and those who work in government. Neither our government or its workers are perfect, but to wildly claim there’s some crazy conspiratorial deep state’ doesn’t help anything. Haass believes that instead of badmouthing government service we should be building it up in order to attract young, smart employees.

9) Support the teaching of Civics. Yes! To children and adults! Yes!

10) Put Country First.

Putting democracy and the country founded on it first is the only way to preserve and, better yet, improve a United States of America that for any and all of its shortcomings and flaws is still the most successful political experiment in human history and the one with the greatest potential.

And Boom! Richard Haass drops the mike.

Should we have obligations as well as rights?

Catherine Friend — Tue, 09 May 2023 12:12:17 +0000

Richard Haass thinks so. I’m reading his book, The Bill of Obligations: The Ten Habits of Good Citizens. Here’s what he says:

Americans are required to observe the law, pay taxes, serve on juries, and respond to a military draft if there is one. There is no wiggle room…Obligations are different, involving not what citizens must do but what they should do….They are intended to be greater than responsibilities.

So here are five of Haass’s proposed obligations:

1) Be informed. Thomas Jefferson said, “Wherever the people are well informed they can be trusted with their own government.” We need to be informed in order to make wise choices when we vote. We need to hold elected officials accountable—-reelection must be earned.

2) Get involved. We must all participate. The only reason elected officials have power is because we give it to them. If we don’t get involved, then only the most passionate of activists on either side will make the decisions for us. Haass quotes former Secretary of Defense James Mattis: “The impact of participation trickles up. Rosa Parks didn’t start out by taking on all of Jim Crow; she started out by taking a seat on a local bus.”

3) Stay Open to Compromise. Haass wonders when ‘compromise’ became a nasty word. Many elected officials now refuse to compromise, which is sad and totally counter to democracy. Without compromise, the United States would never have been formed. Alexander Hamilton said:

The compacts which are to embrace thirteen distinct states in a common bond of amity and union must as necessarily be a compromise of as many dissimilar interests and inclinations.

4) Remain civil. JFK: “Civility is not a sign of weakness.” George W. Bush: “Civility is not a tactic or a sentiment; it is the determined choice of trust over cynicism, of community over chaos.” (Good lord, this is what the Trump years have done to me…I’m now quoting George W as a voice of reason. We truly are living in the Upside Down.)

Haass writes “There is nothing civil about trying to silence those with whom you disagree.” I think Ron DeSantis needs to read Haass’ book.

5) Reject violence. This would seem to be obvious, but I can’t help but think about the conservative right getting its shorts in a bundle over ‘antifa’ protests, as if blacks are the only violent ones. Yet if you study the last two hundred years you will find hundreds of examples of white mobs attacking immigrants or blacks. White violence is very common; January 6 was just the most recent. Haass writes that the Republican National Committee called January 6 ‘legitimate political discourse.’ Huh.

Haass advocates working within the system to bring about change, using civil disobedience or nonviolent political action or protests.

As for me, I believe violence comes from the fury and fear whipped up by elected officials. We need to be informed and get involved by voting those officials out of office.

I’ll share the last five obligations next week.

Happy Place, but Odd Happy Songs

Catherine Friend — Tue, 02 May 2023 11:47:48 +0000

My favorite thing to do is walk the beach on Sanibel Island in the early morning when it’s still dark. I move through the surf at low tide with a flashlight seeking uninhabited shells, humming the same two songs. For years, when I’m totally at ease and happily engaged, I always mindlessly hum these mysterious tunes.

I finally decided I needed to figure out what they were, so did some snooping around—online and in my past. It turns out that when I am at my happiest, I’m either humming “You and I” from the movie “Goodbye, Mr. Chips,” or I’m humming the theme song from “My Three Sons.”

I get the “Goodbye, Mr. Chips” song, as my sister and I used to play the soundtrack album all the time. But My Three Sons? That’s a bit disappointing.

Sanibel Island is still recovering from last September’s devastating Hurricane Ian, and we can’t afford to just pop down there often any way, so I have the next best thing: My own ‘beach.’

I bought the table at Target. Melissa collected the fine white sand at the base of a nearby limestone cliff, and I dried it with a hair dryer. Then all our Sanibel shells, and a few from the Atlantic, went into the table. When I’m frustrated or tired, I open the glass lid and play with the shells, turning them over, identifying the ones I don’t know, and running the sand through my fingers.

But I do not hum “You and I” or the “My Three Sons’ theme song. For that I need to be walking on the beach at Sanibel Island, in the dark, with a flashlight.

(Not sure what this little guy is…but definitely alive…)